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~Clarivoyance

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About Me Member Art Appreciator Clarivoyance15/Female/Unknown Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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Yessss

Simply,

Mon Mar 30, 2009, 5:22 PM
  • Mood: Longing

If I thought just for a second through all of this.
That I would be 'okay'.
I am the most selfish of them all.
I'll always waste my time on something.
I'll always waste a tear on somebody.


Perpetual thought is what lies in my head.
It's my worst enemy.
And I try every drug I find.
Just to see if I can make these thoughts go away.
There's no reason why I can't stop myself though.


I'm tired of trying in this miserable city.
It's what chases and scratches at me sequentially.
But I can't blame you for what's happening.
I always blamed you for tearing me apart..
When now I've figured it wasn't you that was tearing me apart, but I was tearing myself apart.
Literally.


Simply,
I wish sorry was enough to express these damned emotions that I can't forgive myself on.
But I'm still damaged after all this, and every day I figure something new about myself.

Is this wrong or is it right?
Because I'm not deserving of your forgiveness.
Sorry will never suffice for all the shit I did.


I still blame myself.
And nightmares still haunt me.
They. Never. Go. Away.

And yet, how can I sit here and beg for your sympathy?
It's a pathetic feeling, really.


It's such an abnormal way for me to be thinking right now.
I mean, right after I wake up? Nightmares really surround my mind this way.
I guess I'm still tearing myself apart over this. Just not Literally any more.


I've had people down here offer to murder you.
Offer to brutally and horribly kill you in the worst way possible.
And I accepted?
How can you forgive someone, so stupid. To have said they loved you before.
Then turn their back when they're angry at you and accept murder.

I'll promise you and myself this. I will never do that again.


Running into walls.
Is my head right now.
Is it wrong to feel like I'm
Choking?
Because these words could never escape my throat, not for as long as I lived.
That little voice is such a nuisance.




This was meant to be a poem;
And somewhat an apology.
I wrote it this morning, I really don't know what came over me except a silly nightmare. :O_o:

eh?

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Under your pillow.
  • Interests: Photography,literature,graphic arts,art.
  • Favourite movie: Alice in wonderland.
  • Favourite band or musician: Evanescence,Linkin Park,Utada,Opeth,Otep,MSI,Pillar,Skinny Puppy,Ministry,The Used,Weezer,TDG..
  • Operating System: Apple Mac
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod nano
  • Personal Quote: lol
  • Tools of the Trade: PS 7.0,Kodak Camera,Acrylic Paint,Pencils, and charcoal.

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Comments


~NATALKKA:iconNATALKKA: Apr 21, 2009, 9:06:24 PM
Thanks for the fav!
<3
~Clarivoyance:iconClarivoyance: Apr 22, 2009, 6:25:10 AM
mhm. :3

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Kimmeh eats frutteh pebbles for breakfast?:noes:
YES YES I DO
~Clarivoyance:iconClarivoyance: Apr 3, 2009, 6:07:43 AM
Mhm ^-^

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Kimmeh eats frutteh pebbles for breakfast?:noes:
YES YES I DO
Mood: Joy *Dark-Remorse:iconDark-Remorse: Mar 23, 2009, 10:11:44 AM
Hi! :glomp:


Thank you for favouriting my [link] =) :heart:

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"I believe a person's mind is shown through their taste in Art..." :butterflytwo: Click here for my taste
~Clarivoyance:iconClarivoyance: Mar 24, 2009, 5:39:52 AM
No problem. <3

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Kimmeh eats frutteh pebbles for breakfast?:noes:
YES YES I DO
=Chihuahua-Yip:iconChihuahua-Yip: Mar 3, 2009, 10:59:44 PM
......0_0........................................
.....(o.~).......................................
......(__)o......................................
Thank you for the favorite on my work! I hope you stop by again, and continue to enjoy my new works!

Thanks again!

~Miss D

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*LiluSkitten:iconLiluSkitten: Feb 10, 2009, 8:21:07 AM
thank you for faving my work!!! Come again Soon


Lilu-chan

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My newest work (always updated) -> [link]
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~Clarivoyance:iconClarivoyance: Feb 10, 2009, 3:27:41 PM
No problem. :3

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Kimmeh eats frutteh pebbles for breakfast?:noes:
YES YES I DO
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